“I would rather hear 100 hurtful truths than a single pleasant lie.” – Me.
People have told me that I should write a book about my life. I suppose this is my feeble attempt to collect various stories of my past into some semblance of order. Life right now… there are very few ways in which it could be better. That was not always the case. As a naive girl who was married to a compulsive liar, the quote at the top was my mantra. I don’t even know how many times I said it, thought it, and tried to beat it into my ex-husband’s brain (still wondering if one occupies his skull). It never quite sank in though; thankfully, I no longer have to try!
I’m writing this blog for the women who are in their own personal hell, whether by personal choices or as victims of circumstances. Maybe I’m also writing to release these stories trapped inside my soul. I don’t want them anymore, and if my past suffering can make you open your eyes, then it’s a win/win. So my first hurtful truth is this: you are stronger than you think.
Some might think this is more empowering than hurtful, but to the girl who is staying with the man who cheated on her just because she doesn’t feel like she can take care of a child and afford things without him… that’s downright scary. Ready for a confession? After my ex-husband cheated, I kicked him out. I let him return home after a week because I needed someone to cook and do laundry. I wish I was joking. I honestly didn’t believe I could function without him. It was a choice based on convenience, not love. My current self would love to smack past self up side the head and pray I knocked some sense into my naive brain. I wonder… would things have been different if people empowered me to be strong and independent rather than push me to forgive him and take him back? So, to the girl that might be wondering what to do… you are truly stronger than you think. At least give yourself a chance to see your strength (this takes time… more than one week), and then make a decision on the next step, clear of impaired judgment.
I welcome comments and questions… maybe even some hurtful truths 😉 But really, there are so many things about my past decisions that I hate. I’m thankful they have led me to where I am now; however, I still made a ton of poor choices. These will likely be detailed in future posts for you to hopefully learn from BEFORE getting into trouble. XO