The First Time He Cheated

…that I knew of. lol! Wow- those were some dark days for me. I have always been decent looking, but being cheated on has a way of making you feel like the ugliest person alive, even if your spouse cheated with a person who has the same *ahem* equipment as them. I was going to school and my then husband was working at a call center. I had noticed he had been more possessive of his phone lately, so when he forgot to take it to work that day, I began to snoop. Besides his phone attachment, there were no other signs. We were both very loving and cooperative. Girls always said, “I wish my man would talk about me like he does about you.” When I got his phone that day, lo and behold, there were text messages and dirty pictures with some guy, whose age I never learned. I remember reading a text that said, “Yeah, but you cum fast.” I read these messages as I sat in a recliner holding my five month old son. My body felt a thousand times heavier and I got nauseous, a feeling I would come to know all too well in the “relationship”. Of course I went off when he got home. He made excuses and made me pity him saying he was molested as a child, which sexually confused him. I was naive, and I was too scared to raise a child on my own. I was 18. So I told no one except my best friend… who then told me she had heard some rumors before I got married and never told me. Wow… we are no longer friends. I forgave him that night actually. I had no proof they had actually met up since we had been together, he said it was from before we met. I believe my stupidity was a combination of his emotional abuse and my blinded perspective. Without reading an old diary, it is hard to recall how I handled the next year. I might have to see if I have that information and update this post, because that is honestly all there was to the first time he cheated, but of course, each situation got worse. Ultimately leading to the thankful death of that relationship.


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